


Cheese Tacos

by KirbyWrites



Series: Short Drabbles I Decided To Make [12]
Category: Kirby (Video Games), Kirby - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, i think all the funny stuff is at the end, i tried to make it funny but i don't think it worked, my first and probably last attempt at writing crack, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 10:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19293664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KirbyWrites/pseuds/KirbyWrites
Summary: Nothing goes well when a taco shop opens in Dreamland.





	Cheese Tacos

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to write crack, I probably failed. If someone out there has written crack fics for Kirby before, please tell me how to improve so I can write another one in the future. Thanks!
> 
> Also words Hyness uses:  
> Jes = yes  
> Japologa = I'm sorry  
> Juh = huh  
> Jaway majaja = I forgot again  
> Bonjam = Hello  
> Goppoko = surprise

Zan Partizanne wearily floated back to Jambastion. She thought back to her sisters and how they fared after their jobs. After the fall of Void Termina, the three mages had been accepted into Dreamland’s society and given jobs by the local people and the monarchy. Francisca’s job was selling ice cream in the many parks, and seeing as the people on Popstar loved ice cream, she was relatively successful. Zan had heard from her younger sister that Kirby stopped by almost every day and always stuck around for some friendly conversation, despite him being the puffball that had taken all of them down.

Flamberge had a job working for King Dedede as his chef. To the king, fire always meant cooking and lots of food, so the penguin could hardly resist. Her own job, which had kindly been offered to her by Meta Knight after the Another Dimension incident, was powering the Halberd and its many devices. Being a mage of electricity, she was able to power all of these, including the reactor and cannons, but it often left her exhausted. More than once, the knight had offered to let her stay for a while, but Zan knew that her sisters would get worried if she suddenly didn’t come home without telling them. Plus, _she_ was always worried that Flamberge would pull something off on Hyness. The fire mage always looked for a way to play pranks on Hyness, and while Francisca tried to talk her out of it, it never worked.

Then her thoughts drifted to Hyness himself. He was the only one who hadn’t yet been given normal spots in society like the others and he often spent his entire day sitting inside Jambastion. The giant flying fortress had been landed on Popstar, much like the Halberd and the Lor Starcutter, and Dreamlanders often asked if they could take a look around. Again, just like Meta Knight and Magolor, the owners of their respective vessels, the three sisters never let anyone inside Jambastion unless it was absolutely necessary. Zan caught sight of Francisca and Flamberge outside the fortress, and the two noticed her.

 

“Hello, Zan!” Francisca called. “I have quite the story to share with you. Your boss dropped by my stand earlier today.”

 

“Meta Knight?” Zan asked in disbelief. “At your ice cream stand? He’d never. He told me he doesn’t like sweets, and he was only out today to run an important errand.”

 

“Seems like he was lying, big sis,” Flamberge interrupted. “You know him, always mysterious and such. It wouldn’t surprise me if he likes sweets.”

 

“I really do doubt it. He'd never go out of his way just for ice cream,” the electricity mage repeated.

 

“Well, Meta Knight got the chocolate chip flavor, and he seemed very happy about it too,” Francisca giggled. “I asked him about you and he said you do a great job. He’s just so busy with the rest of the Halberd that he can’t ever tell you.”

 

“O-oh…” Zan blushed a little from the flattering news and also from being proved wrong. “So I guess that's where he went when he said he had to run an errand.”

 

“Hah! I knew Meta Knight had a love for sweets,” Flamberge chuckled. “Dedede's hinted at it in the past. Said that ‘his lil’ Meta never could stay away from them sweets’. Pretty funny, if you ask me.”

 

“Juh? Zan Parmesan? Is that you and your sisters out there?” Hyness's voice drifted outside.

 

“Hyness, please, it's Zan _Partizanne_! You've known me since basically forever! You didn't forget again, did you?”

 

“Japologa, Partizanne! Jes, jaway majaja!”

 

“Oh, jamblast it all…” Flamberge was laughing behind her and Francisca stood there in fear. “Flamberge, Francisca, let's go.”

 

* * *

 

 

A few weeks later, as the three sisters sat in the cool dining room, sipping iced tea, Flamberge had a good piece of info. “I asked Dedede about a job opening for Hyness when I was there,” the fire mage reported. “He said there'd be a new shop opening soon, and that Hyness can try and get a job there.”

 

“Oh yes, Kirby mentioned this when he was at my stand today,” Francisca added. “According to him, the new shop is a restaurant, and they serve food that Kirby's seen in Floralia. It's called a taco.”

 

“I’ve never heard of a taco before. Are you sure that kind of food exists?” Zan asked skeptically.

 

“I heard it from Kirby, Zan, of course it’s real! Kirby’s been everywhere, seen everything, and most importantly, eaten everything!”

 

“Hmph. At least Hyness’ll have a job after this.” The electricity mage reclined back in her chair and finished off her tea. Though she wasn’t one to show much emotion outside, Zan was practically bursting with happiness. Finally, after all this time, her lord would be able to do something else besides sit around Jambastion. The place was huge, and Hyness could easily wander around, but all he did after Void Termina’s defeat was eat, sit in random chairs, and sleep. Any attempt to occupy him failed, but a consistent attempt could possibly work. There was a knock on the outer door of the fortress, and Francisca opened it to reveal Kirby and Meta Knight.

 

“Fancisca poy!” Kirby shouted, jumping onto the ice mage. “Famberge! Patizan!”

 

“Hey, Kirby!” Flamberge called.

 

“It’s Partizanne, but that’s close enough,” Zan grumbled at the same time. She turned to face the winged warrior. “Sir Meta Knight, what did you need from Jambastion?”

 

“I only came to tell you that the new shop just opened. Kirby dragged me along to tell you,” the knight said. “As per the king’s request, I’ll be there.”

 

“Already?!” Flamberge exclaimed. “But Dedede only told me about the shop, like, this morning!”

 

Meta Knight chuckled. “He’s been planning and building this for a long time. As I have been forced to attend the opening, I was hoping I would have someone of similar mindset there with me, and my crew wishes to stay at the Halberd instead.” He glanced at Zan, then at the figure cloaked in white watching from the doorway. The three mages whirled around when they noticed what the warrior was staring at, and Hyness, seeing that he’d been spotted, emerged from the shadowy doorway.

 

“Juh… bonjam, pink puff and masked one,” he said, his voice creaky like he hadn’t spoken in days. “Your visit was a goppoko.” Kirby and Meta Knight turned to Zan to translate.

 

“He said hello, and that your visit was a surprise,” she said bluntly. “Hyness, we're taking you outside Jambastion for once. You have to go somewhere.”

 

“Me? I've been chosen by our Dark Lord himself to go on this mission! Praise his name forever!” Flamberge rolled her eyes at this.

 

Francisca leaned over to the two puffballs. “He still believes in Void Termina and that he's out there somewhere. We've stopped believing in this, but he refuses to believe that Void has been defeated.”

 

“Hm. Well then, we'll be off. Hopefully, we'll see the four of you at the new opening.” Meta Knight unfurled his wings and let Kirby clamber on his back. He took off in the general direction of the castle, and Zan gazed after them.

 

“Francisca, Flamberge, Lord Hyness, we're leaving Jambastion for a while.”

 

* * *

 

 

When the four arrived at the new shop, there was a bustling line of happily chatting Dreamlanders. Kirby saw them from the very front of the line where Dedede was, and the pink puff waved them over with a wide grin. Meta Knight and Bandanna Dee were there too and Dedede was holding a giant pair of scissors as he waved to the crowd, mocking the cutting of a red satin ribbon. Zan held her hand out as confetti fluttered down from Waddle Dees on the roof. As the crowd cheered and roared, King Dedede lifted the massive scissors and sliced the ribbon in half, officially opening the new shop.

 

“Hey there, mages!” Dedede exclaimed, letting Dreamlanders flow around him and into the shop. “Ya came to get Hyness into the Dreamland economy, right? Well, this is the perfect place for ‘im! No skill required, and even Kirby here could do this if he wanted! O’ course, he’s too busy savin’ Dreamland and all, but I know he can come once in a while. Right, Kirby?”

 

“Poyo!” Kirby grabbed Zan’s hand and began dragging her inside, her other hand grasping Hyness’s. Once inside, Dedede led Hyness into the back of the shop. Meta Knight and Kirby were already at a table, and the mages sat down there. A few minutes later, the king re-emerged from the back and joined them at the table.

 

“Dedede, don’t tell me you did something stupid back there,” the knight said, sighing. “Please at least say it was something sensible.”

 

“Well, what else can a king do for his new employee, Meta? It’s real clear the mages want the best for Hyness, and I’d be a terrible king if I said no to that,” Dedede replied, brushing off the warrior’s comment. “Besides, all I did was show ‘im the ropes and how to make stuff. I told ‘im to make somethin’ for you, Partizanne.”

 

“Me?” Zan asked in disbelief. “Oh no…” The electricity mage groaned and set her head down on the table, causing everyone at the table to look at her strangely. Only she knew why this was a problem. Why had she been so stupid? Her mind wandered through everything that could possibly go wrong, and she groaned. A long, uncomfortable silence stretched as other Dreamlanders around them got up and received their orders.

From the looks of it, Zan knew these were professional workers that were serving the others around her. Not a single one of them looked the slightest bit embarrassed, and some even looked delighted to try out the new food. Amid all the loud chatter, Zan heard a familiar rustle and an _extremely_ familiar voice. The words came out slowly, but everyone quieted down to listen to them.

 

“Zan Parmesan, your cheese taco is ready.”


End file.
